


and i feel life for the very first time

by quinnking



Category: Stranger Things (TV 2016)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Fluff, Gen, Post S2, Some dark themes, days in the life of jane 'el' hopper, i'll add to it as i go, kind of like a series of oneshots, some gay and bisexual people in here y'all
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-06
Updated: 2017-12-22
Packaged: 2019-01-30 06:11:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 6,983
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12647715
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/quinnking/pseuds/quinnking
Summary: “I wanted her to have something special,” he says, his voice rumbling. “To welcome ‘85 in with… people.”“With people,” Joyce repeats with a chuckle. “You mean with people who love her?”





	1. new year's eve

**Author's Note:**

> season 2, man. season 2. basically a series of oneshots. it's going to be eleven centric. so. enjoy!
> 
> follow me on twitter: robinwrightt, or on tumblr: robinwright. :)
> 
> (listen to technicolor beat by oh wonder.)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hopper shifts from one leg to the other. “I wanted her to have something special,” he says, his voice rumbling. “To welcome ‘85 in with… people.”
> 
> “With people,” Joyce repeats with a chuckle. “You mean with people who love her?”

_December 31, 1984_

"I can't believe _you_ agreed to have a New Years Eve party," Joyce says with a chuckle as she walks around the cabin to help set things up. She snuck a peak at Will and El sitting on the couch together, engrossed in a comic book.

Hopper shifts from one leg to the other. “I wanted her to have something special,” he says, his voice rumbling. “To welcome ‘85 in with… people.”

“With people,” Joyce repeats with a chuckle. “You mean with people who love her?”

“Well… yeah. Yeah.”

He looks at Will and Eleven too and as if he’d called her name, Eleven looks up and meets his eyes. She quirks her lips up in that small, enigmatic smile that Hopper loves, and he gives her a small smile back.

There’s a knock at the door, their secret knock sounding, and Joyce says, “that’ll be Steve and the boys. And Max.”

Surely enough Steve barrels in with Lucas, Dustin, Max and Mike in tow, and as soon as Mike sets his sights on Eleven, they’re embracing.

She almost tumbles them over with the sheer force of their hug, Eleven’s head tucking into his neck and his arms nestling at her back.

“Hi,” she says, voice soft.

“Hey,” he says back, his cheeks pink.

“Get a room,” Max intones and snickers along with Lucas and Dustin.

Before Eleven can open her mouth to ask what _that_ means, Mike says, “go hug Max.”

Eleven looks confused, adorably so, but she does it anyway.

After the Snowball she and Max talked and that’s when she was taught that what she felt the day she saw Mike and Max in the gym was jealousy. She doesn’t like that feeling, and doesn’t want to feel it again. So, naturally, all was forgotten and the two are friends now.

The two girls are holding hands now and talking with their heads together, and Mike can just tell that she’s asking Max what she meant by, “get a room.”

* * *

Joyce and Hopper are standing by the front door, watching their kids and friends ( _family_ ) ring in the new year.

“Everybody shut up, it’s two minutes ‘till midnight,” Dustin says loudly.

Steve is already passed out on the couch like the grandpa he’s turned into.

Max and Lucas are holding hands on the couch, and Dustin and Will are sitting on the floor with the remote.

Mike sidles up to Eleven, holding her fingers with his.

_Five._

_Four._

_Three._

Eleven leans in close.

_Two._

_One._

El presses her lips to Mike’s, just once, like they did at the Snowball. But once is enough and it makes Mike’s stomach flutter.

“How did you know…”

“Max,” she says, softly, their noses bumping each other. They’re still breathing the same air but a kiss is the last thing on their minds. They just want to stay close to each other.

_Of course._

“Okay, break it up,” Hopper says from the door but he makes no move to separate them.


	2. quiet moments and badgering

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I want to go to school with Mike," El says to Hopper one morning when he serves her breakfast. Not eggos, but still good. 
> 
> He almost drops his cup. "Kid," he starts and he pretends not to notice the way she rolls her eyes at him. "It's still not safe."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this has a bit of el/mike and a bit of el/hop. my faves. i'm kind of going chronologically. and taking some liberties with timelines. but anyway, i love my child. i love writing happy stuff for my child. and i hope y'all like it too. :)

_April, 1985_

Sometimes, on nights that Hopper works late, Mike would sneak out to the cabin and stay with El. 

They watch television some nights, Mike smiling to himself whenever El repeats a word she hears back, waiting 'till the inevitable moment she turns to him and asks, "what does that mean?" And he's always eager to tell her, to help her learn. If coming over and helping her learn new words will get her to go to school with them in the fall, then so be it. He'll spend days on end helping her if that's what it takes.

On other nights, Mike brings over a workbook and helps El through it. She's a bit behind on English, but she's grasped Science and Math pretty quickly. 

Watching her work on equations, with her tongue poked out, is one of the many reasons Mike does this. Why he spends nights he could be playing D&D with his party here, teaching her the basics. 

Another is how she completely lights up when he tells her how far she's coming along, how smart she is. 

"Smart," she says one night. "Is that better than pretty?"

"No," he tells her. "Not better. They're different."

She doesn't ask anymore questions about that, seemingly able to understand what he meant just by that small explanation. 

On nights like tonight, however, when they're laying atop her bed, barely touching, he's thankful. At this time last year they were both miserable; missing each other, trapped, irritable. But now they're in touching distance from each other. He can feel the heat radiating from her, can see how relieved she is to have him near her. 

"I missed you," he says for the umpteenth time. 

Without missing a beat (she never does, with him), she says back, "I missed you, too." 

His nose brushes hers and they don't kiss, even though he really wants to and really likes it, but they just lay there and breathe each other in. 

* * *

_End of May, 1985_

"I want to go to school with Mike," El says to Hopper one morning when he serves her breakfast. Not eggos, but still good. 

He almost drops his cup. "Kid," he starts and he pretends not to notice the way she rolls her eyes at him. "It's still not safe." 

"It will be," El reminds him. 

"Doctor Owens said -"

"A year, I know." When did she get so sassy? "Steve said you can  _en-roll_ me late."

Bastard. "Steve said that, huh?" 

"Yes." She nibbles at the french toast. "Max started late last year." 

Hopper takes a long gulp of his coffee and clears his throat. "You're behind," he tells her. 

"Nuh uh," she says and when did she learn that? He'll kill Max. "Mike and Will give me workbooks and Nancy helps." 

"It's still not safe, kid." 

"The Doctor said a year. It's almost been a year. It's safe. Nothing happens when I leave." 

Hopper breathes deep out of his nose. "We don't take stupid risks."

"It's not," she argues. Her big brown eyes look him dead in the eye and goddamn it, when did Hopper get so soft? He feels his insides going to mush. "I've been working hard with Nancy and Mike and Will." 

"I know, kiddo, but -"

"I can't spend another year here," she tells him, her voice a little quieter but harder. "I can't. I'm safe now. I'm learning. I'm getting older." 

Hopper rubs at his forehead furiously and downs the rest of his coffee. He looks at her plate and sees she's eaten all her breakfast, and how does she do that? 

"I'll think about it," he says, which usually means  _give me a few days to sort out my shit but it's an inevitable yes._

She grins in what seems like victory and drinks her orange juice. 

 

 


	3. it's the tiny things that make this all worth while

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "El?" Hop asks, a bit of worry leaking into his voice.
> 
> "Not working," she says with a huff, and lets the door crack open enough to peek an eye out. 
> 
> Hop looks down at her, his brows furrowed. "What's not working?" 
> 
> She shifts her gaze to Mike and feels herself smile involuntarily before looking back at Hop. "My hair."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> here's a little elhop fluff. tooth-rotting angelic fluff. you're welcome. writing these two is fun and heartwarming.

_July, 1985_

Hop taps his index finger on the bathroom door. "El, Mike's here." 

Mike tips back on his heels and waits quietly by the front door. 

"El?" Hop asks, a bit of worry leaking into his voice.

"Not working," she says with a huff, and lets the door crack open enough to peek an eye out. 

Hop looks down at her, his brows furrowed. "What's not working?" 

She shifts her gaze to Mike and feels herself smile involuntarily before looking back at Hop. "My hair." 

"El..." he starts and he slips himself in the door and closes it behind him. Fatherly duty time. His eyes widen because  _when_ did El get these clothes? She's wearing a floral print shirt a pair of shorts that were supposed to go mid-thigh but the little shit rolled them up.

As if reading his mind, she says simply, "Nancy brought them for me when she came to tutor me last week." She loves Nancy, she's her favourite and very pretty, so she trusts her input when it comes to personal style. This Hopper knows. But he never expected Eleven to wear floral. When she sees the look on his face, she frowns. "Do I not look pretty?" 

"No," Hopper says quickly and when he realizes how that sounds he adds on, "no, you look pretty. Beautiful. Just... roll down the shorts a little, kid." 

She looks perplexed. "Why roll down?" 

Hop flounders a little. "Just roll them down," he says, voice stern. "Now come on, the Wheeler kid is waiting." 

"Hair." She turns and looks at herself in the mirror with a huff. 

"It looks fine, kiddo," he says. He quite likes her little curls, now that they're a bit longer. 

Her forehead creases. "Looks fine?"

"Pretty," Hop assures her. "Now let's go, the kid is waiting."

"Mike," she corrects.

_Yeah, yeah._

The look on the kids face when he sees El almost makes Hop laugh out loud. He's never seen a fourteen year old boy look at a fourteen year old girl with as much dumbstruck awe as this kid looks at his daughter. It's as hilariously heartwarming as it is infuriating. 

"You look beautiful," he says, like he always says when he sees her. 

She looks at him through her eyelashes and smiles. 

"Bye, dad," she says, and freezes because  _holy shit, that's the first time she's ever said it._ Out loud. She looks at him in surprise and he can see her mentally freaking out.

Him, well. His heart swells and he feels a smile break out on his face. 

“Have fun, kiddo,” he says, his voice soft (softer than Mike’s ever heard it, anyway), and the answering smile on his daughter's face makes almost every single argument they’ve ever had worth it.

He watches her go, hand-in-hand with that damn kid, but he doesn’t even mind. She’s happy, more than halfway, and that’s all he could ask for. 

(And damn it, he really has gone soft, hasn’t he?)


	4. teenage girls are tiring

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Can I teach her how skateboard before we eat whatever you're making?" 
> 
> Hop shrugs and grins at his daughter. "First Aid Kit is in the bathroom cupboard, kiddo."
> 
> "She won't need it, I'm a great teacher," Max says with confidence.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> as requested by one of you lovely people: some max/el. with some el/hop and some (rare) max/hop. really fluffy. enjoy!

_ August, 1985 _

"El, Max is here," Hop says from the front door. 

Lord, help him. He’s half afraid of what this girl will teach  _ his  _ little girl, but he’s also halfway happy that she has a close friend that isn’t trying to kiss her all the time. 

Eleven's face lights up bright when she sees the redhead and she almost knocks her off her feet with the force of the hug. 

Hopper rolls his eyes. Teenagers. 

"Weirdo," Max says, affectionately. She drops her small bag on the floor. "'Sup, Chief?" 

Hopper nods at her. "I'm going to make dinner. El, let the girl breathe." 

She doesn't, but Max doesn't seem to mind. In fact, she looks at Hop with an expectant eyebrow risen. 

"What?" he asks. Man, this girl is something else. 

"Can I teach her how skateboard before we eat whatever you're making?" 

Hop shrugs and grins at his daughter. "First Aid Kit is in the bathroom cupboard, kiddo."

"She won't need it, I'm a great teacher," Max says with confidence. 

(She does.) 

Hop watches them as he makes dinner, and El does pretty well until she eats shit and wipes out. More than once. 

"Dinner's ready," he calls out, after her fourth fall. 

The girls come in, hand-in-hand, and El has a few scrapes on her arms. 

"Go clean her up and then come sit," Hop orders, and readies the small table for the three of them.

“Don’t let Mike see these,” Max jokes as she wets a cloth and holds it over El’s scraped arm. 

El’s eyebrows scrunch together in confusion. “Why?”

“He’ll kill me if he finds out you got hurt,” she says, mostly an exaggeration. She thinks.

“Wouldn’t,” El argues, watching in wonder as Max puts ointment on the cuts. Only one is bleeding enough that she needs to put a small bandage on it. 

Max chuckles. “You ate it hard,” she comments. “But you’re actually not that bad. The first time I tried it I hit my chin off the gravel.” She lifts her head up. “But I healed.” 

El reaches up to run her thumb along the underside of Max’s chin and truth be told, if it were anyone else, Max probably would have knocked them a new one.

But she’s used to this kind of affection from El. In fact, the only people she’s physically affectionate toward are her, Mike and the Chief. 

“Did you two drown in the toilet?” Hop yells from outside. “Your dinner’s getting cold.”

“C’mon,” Max says. “Where’s this go?” El points. 

“ _ Come. On!”  _ Hop bellows again. 

“Hope this dinner is as good as he thinks it is for how much of a fuss he’s making,” Max mumbles, but goes out anyway.

* * *

 

Max isn't used to having friends that are girls. She likes girls and thinks they're great, even the ones who are mean, but she doesn't get along with them because girls tend to look down their nose at her. But El doesn't. El treats her like she wants to be treated; like one of the boys.

"Hey, El?" Max says, voice unusually soft.

They're laying next to each other on El's small bed, practically cuddling. She's never had a friendship like this one, where she's actually  _able_ to talk about things and not get looks of judgement. 

(Confusion, maybe, since El doesn't know much about social constructs.) 

"Yes?" 

"Thanks for not hating me anymore." 

El lays on her side and looks at Max, squints in the darkness to make out the red hue of her hair. 

"Never did," she says simply. "I pushed you off your skateboard. That was mean." 

Max snorts. "It was mean, and I still can't believe you'd think I'd  _like_ Wheeler." 

"I know," El says, although she doesn't understand why anyone wouldn't like Mike. He's pretty and smells nice. "Jealous." 

"You were," Max agrees. "But I didn't get hurt. I mean, it hurt like a bitch, but I didn't get hurt." 

"Good," El says, quietly. "Thank you for not getting hurt." 

Max chuckles quietly, leans in a bit and her forehead rests against the crown of El's hair.

"Comfy," El says.

"Comfy," Max agrees. 


	5. baby, don't hurt me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “A feeling you have for someone else,” she repeats. “Like… Joyce and Will?”
> 
> Hop shrugs. “Yeah, that’s a form of love. That’s family,” he says, leaning forward.
> 
> “Like you and me?”
> 
> He can’t help the feeling he gets in his chest because, goddamn. He loves this girl, his little girl, so much he can’t contain it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hop teaches el about love. enjoy. ;) fluff fluff and more fluff. 
> 
> Come yell at me on Twitter, robinwrightt, or on Tumblr, robinwright. :')

_ September, 1985 _

It's not unusual for Hop to read to El before bed. Actually, it's pretty much a nightly thing. The only times it doesn't happen is when Hop works too late and Joyce and Will stay over, or when Max sleeps over. 

(He's starting to like the redhead, goddamn it.) 

As he’s getting through a chapter of Anne of Green Gables, El asks, “Hop?” 

He raises his eyebrows so he can peek over the spine of the book. “Yeah, kid?”

“What’s love?”

His mouth hangs open because, well, he isn’t expecting the question. Although he’s learned that with his child, he should expect questions that force him to think before he speaks because,  _ damn, _ she’s inquisitive. 

“Uh…” 

He snaps the book shut because storytime? Over. Time for a talk, now. Especially since she’ll be starting school in the next couple of months, he might as well get this talk over with. 

“Love is… well, it’s a feeling,” he explains. Or, rather, tries to explain. “A feeling you have for someone else. Or something else. Like… you love eggos.” 

“A feeling you have for someone else,” she repeats. “Like… Joyce and Will?” 

Hop shrugs. “Yeah, that’s a form of love. That’s family,” he says, leaning forward. 

“Like you and me?” 

He can’t help the feeling he gets in his chest because, goddamn. He loves this girl,  _ his  _ little girl, so much he can’t contain it. 

“Yeah, kid. Like you and me.”

“How do you know when you love somebody?”

Hop huffs and searches his mind to try to find the adequate words. “Like… you get butterflies in your stomach. Your heart feels full. You smile a lot. You can’t stop looking at them and you can’t imagine ever  _ not  _ looking at them.” He feels this way somewhat for El, and for someone else, but that’s something else entirely. 

She contemplates this. She’s felt love for things, she supposes. Her friends, like Max and Lucas and Dustin, don’t make her heart flutter. Mike does. But she knows she loves all of them. Maybe she just loves Mike differently. So, she asks,

“Like you and Joyce?” 

He splutters. “El,” he starts. “Joyce and I… we’re not…” 

“Friends don’t lie,” she says, simply. “Family, either. She and Will sleep over."

His heart warms at that, he can’t lie about  _ that.  _ “Kiddo, Joyce and I…”

“I see the way you look at her, and you share a bed,” El says.

Hop knits his eyebrows together. “We’ve known each other a long time. And friends can share beds.”

"So, Mike can share my bed when he sleeps over?"

Hop has a coughing fit and can't respond, so El continues.

“You love her,” El insists. “I’m smart. I know people.” 

Hop has to laugh at how serious she is. “You do,” he agrees. “But you’re wrong.”

“Not. You’re lying.” She looks so indignant that Hop laughs, aloud, once again. “Not funny. Max says you two should just  _ get it on _ already.” 

“You’re never saying that again,” Hop mutters. Goddamn redheaded brat. “It’s just not gonna happen.” 

El’s mouth goes into a thin line. She looks half smug-half disbelieving. “Sure,” she says, sarcastically, and when did his daughter get this sass? 

“Storytime is over,” Hop says, standing up and leaning over to kiss her on the forehead. “‘Night, kiddo.” 

As he goes to turn off the lamp, he hears a quiet and mumbled, “love you.”

“I love you too, El.” 


	6. first day of school blues

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> She has her Mike, her Max and her other boys. They start to walk forward, into the large school doors.
> 
> Lucas elbows Mike. “I think your girlfriend has a crush on mine,” he jokes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is a bit longer because... el's first day of school! i'm really loving max/el recently so there's a bit of that in there. also el with the rest of the party, because why not? also. jealous!mike makes an appearance. stay tuned 
> 
> follow me on twitter: robinwrightt  
> follow me on tumblr: robinwright

_ Early November, 1985 _

“Nervous, kid?”

She’s just spent about half an hour in the bathroom fixing her hair up and getting ready. She’s wearing a black skirt that goes just above her knees (he made certain that it was dress-code appropriate) and a knitted purple sweater overtop. Her hair is in curls at her shoulders, and he thinks she looks pretty as always but she seems to disagree. 

She bites down on her bottom lip, hard. And Hop looks over his coffee mug at her. 

“You’re going to do fine. You’ve been working up to this,” he says, comfortingly. 

“‘Gonna fail,” she mumbles. 

Hop’s eyebrows knit together. “You’re not,” he argues. “You’re smart and you’re up to speed. I’m sure your friends will help you.” 

“What if they don’t like me?” 

“Who?”

“Other kids.” 

Hop stops everything at this because in his mind,  _ who  _ wouldn’t like her? Obviously, he has parental goggles on and he’s completely biased but she’s easily the coolest teenager he’s ever met.

“You’ll be fine,” he promises. “Come on, eat up. You don’t want to be late.”

She nods and munches at her eggos (something Hop thinks she could use, her favourite food to calm her nerves). But she’s quiet on the car ride and that scares him. 

“Hey,” Hop says, before she can open the door and jump out of the cruiser. She turns to him with a confused expression. He leans across and kisses her on the forehead. “Have a good day.” 

She smiles at him and leans forward to kiss him on the cheek and hops out of the car. “Bye,” she says, and Hop can see that the nervousness fades a little. 

He waits until she walks up to the boys that are waiting by the bike rack before he drives off, knowing El is in good hands there.

* * *

 

“Hey, weirdo,” Lucas says first, because Mike has yet to pick his jaw up, and he wraps an arm around her shoulders. Dustin purrs at her. 

“Hi,” she says, smiling. She likes Lucas and Dustin a lot, and she feels warm and protected with them near her.

Will nudges her with his shoulder and she reaches out and ruffles his hair, not needing words to communicate with him. She feels safe with them all around her. 

Her eyes land on Mike. “Hi, Mike,” she murmurs, voice soft.

“You look pretty,” he blurts, a pink blush spreading across her cheeks.

Her heart flips. “You too,” she comments back, causing the boys to laugh. “Where’s Max?”

Just as she asks this a flurry of red hair skates on up to them.

“‘Sup, nerds,” she says as she leans forward to kiss Lucas on the side of the mouth and then El on the cheek. She tucks her board under her armpit and El just looks at her for a second. Max notices. “What? Do I have toothpaste on my shirt?” 

“You look pretty,” El compliments and when Max smiles brightly at her words, El feels slightly better about the day. She has her Mike, her Max and her other boys. They start to walk forward, into the large school doors.

Lucas elbows Mike. “I think your girlfriend has a crush on mine,” he jokes. 

“Shut up, Lucas,” Mike snickers and tugs El along. “You have homeroom with all of us. You have Max in gym. You have Lucas in science and Dustin in math.” 

“Where will you be?” 

“Will and I are taking honors classes,” he boasts. “But we’ll see each other every first period and at lunch.” 

She feels a bit of nervousness hit her at this, although she knows she’s going to be with the rest of the party during the day, she wishes she could be with Mike more. 

“Okay,” she whispers. 

“Don’t be nervous,” he tells her. “School is… school. Some people are mean but you ignore it and get over it.”

“And you have us to be your guides,” Dustin interjects, pushing Mike out of the way so he can come in between them and wrap both of his arms around their shoulders. 

El nods, still unsure, and they walk her to her locker. 

“Here,” Mike slips a piece of paper into her palm. This is your combination. You just open it like this.” He shows her, and lets her try until she gets it open. “You put stuff in there so your bag isn’t heavy.” 

El nods and closes it, and they make their way toward homeroom. 

She thinks it’s going fine so far, a few whispers and looks from various students as she sits in the middle of the boys and Max, but then the teacher makes her introduce herself.

“Um,” she fumbles shyly. “I’m Jane… but I go by El…” And she mumbles out something about Hopper and sits down, a blush tinting her face and neck. 

Her day turns up, though, when she realizes she’s pretty good at track and field. She comes in first when there’s a race and she runs the longest when they’re told to do laps. 

The gym teacher tells her she should join the track team and when she looks at Max, the redhead gives her a heads up. 

“Track team?”

“It’s just a lot of run and relay,” Max explains as they head into the locker room. 

El nods and stores that in her  _ what-to-tell-Hop _ side of her brain. 

She’s giddy now, though, because Max tells her, “it’s lunch time.” She gets to see Mike.

As she’s walking into the cafeteria (it smells weird, she notes, nose crinkled) with her arm looped in Max’s, a boy cuts in front of her. And stands there, smiling down at her.

He’s pretty, El notes. Shiny blonde hair and big blue eyes. 

“Hi,” he says.

“Hi,” she says back, brows bunching together curiously. 

“I’m Brett Davis,” he says. “Why don’t you come sit with me at lunch?”

Max starts to lead her away. “Dream on, Davis,” she snarks and El looks at her. Before she can ask, Lucas comes up to them.

“Why was Brett Davis talking to you guys?”

He leads them to their usual table. Mike, Dustin and Will are already sitting there. 

“He just came up to us and asked El to sit at his table,” Max said with a snicker.

“Who did?” Dustin asks. 

“Brett Davis.”

Mike drops the book in his hand onto the table with a thump. “Brett Davis asked El to sit at his table?” he whispers loudly. Almost hisses, and he looks a little put-out. El doesn’t understand why. 

“What’s wrong with him?” 

“Nothing,” they all say, in unison. 

“He’s a sophomore,” Max tells her as they sit. She sits in between Lucas and Dustin while El sits in between Mike and Will. “Girls like him a lot. He’s popular.”

El frowns a bit. “Popular… like… he has a lot of friends?”

“And girls,” Mike mumbles, and El looks at him questioningly. He doesn’t meet her eyes and instead digs into his backpack for his sandwich. 

Will taps El on the shoulder after she lets the feeling of hurt settle into her stomach. He hands her a sandwich. “Mom made this for you,” he tells her. “Ham and cheese.”

Momentarily forgetting what just happened, El lights up and takes the sandwich. She unwraps it and bites into it. 

She finishes her sandwich and all the boys and Max are bickering back and forth but Mike stays quiet. She nudges his knee with hers and he jolts. 

“What’s wrong?” she whispers, leaning close to him so no one else will hear. 

“Nothing,” he tells her and he’s lying and she feels something sink in her stomach and the aftertaste of her yummy sandwich turns sour in her mouth.

She leans away from him, stung, and looks away from the table. She takes the time to watch everyone, take it in that she’s finally  _ here.  _

The warning bell rings and Lucas grabs her by the elbow to lead her to science. She doesn’t talk to him as they walk to class, even as he babbles on about what they’re learning at the moment. She’s still a bit sad about Mike.

She’s good at science, and it takes concentration so her mind is off of what happened at lunch for the period, but the sadness comes back during and after math. Even with Dustin cracking jokes and trying to get her to smile, she’s still thinking about what she’d done to make Mike mad at her. 

El’s not good with vocalizing and so, she leaves the school in a hurry and she feels somewhat better when she sees Hop’s car waiting for her. He’s not late.

Just as she starts to walk through the parking lot she feels a soft hand on her wrist. 

She turns and sees Mike, just Mike, standing behind her.

“You didn’t say bye,” he says by means of explanation. “Dustin said you just left.” 

Her mouth goes into a thin line. “Mad.” 

“You’re mad?” 

“No. You’re mad,” she says, and when he looks at her in confusion she adds on, “at me.”

His thumb runs over her wrist bone. “I’m not mad at you,” he says, and he still sounds like he doesn’t understand where this is coming from.

“Lunch,” she reminds him. 

Mike flushes a darker-than-pink colour, the one that’s not so pretty. 

“I’m sorry,” he offers. “I was kind of a prick.”

“Why?”

He huffs, blowing a strand of hair out of his face. “It didn’t actually hit me that you would have better options,” he says. 

“Better options,” she repeats. “I don’t…”

“I was jealous,” he tells her. “Like how you were with Max, except because of Brett. You’re pretty and smart, and you’re new… I just wasn’t ready for the feeling of a popular guy asking you to sit at his table.” 

She swallows and considers this, stepping a bit closer to him. He smells good. Familiar, and that settles her stomach. 

“Don’t be jealous,” she tells him.

(As if it’s that easy, Mike thinks). 

“Your table is my table.” 

A smile breaks out onto Mike’s freckled face at that and El’s heart flutters. 

“I’m sorry,” he says again. “Boys are stupid sometimes.”

“Yes,” El agrees. 

“I didn’t mean to make you sad.” 

He says it so earnestly that El leans forward and pecks him on the mouth, just once. 

“It’s okay,” she tells him, because it is. Because she understands. “Com...communicate.” He gives her a baffled look. “With me. Next time.” 

Mike nods, rightfully shamed. “You got it.”

Hop honks his horn and El looks over her shoulder.

“I’ll see you tomorrow,” she says.

As she takes a step forward, he says, “you really do look pretty, El.”

And before she walks away, she says back, “so do you.” 


	7. i feel pretty and witty and gay

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> some cute will/el and some confused mike bc... why not

_End of November, 1985_

El and Will are sitting on Will's bedroom floor, El on her belly and Will resting his head on the fluffy fabric on her back, as they go through comic books. 

"Hey, El?" 

She shifts, but not enough that Will's uncomfortable, and looks over her shoulder. Her curls are in her eyes. "Yes?" 

"Can I tell you something?" He's fidgeting, picking at the spine of his comic. "But you can't tell anyone. Not even Mike. Or Max. Or Hopper. Especially not Hopper."

"Is it bad?" she asks, voice laced with worry and concern, her brows crinkling. 

Will's heart swells at her worry. "No, it's not bad," he says, but he sounds unsure. He pauses. "It  _shouldn't_ be bad," he amends after a moment.

"What is it?" 

He takes a moment and she doesn't prod, because she doesn't do that. His heart is hammering in his chest and the blood is pumping loud in his ears, heat burning up his arms and neck. 

Will whispers, "I think I'm gay," and he closes his eyes right away because he can't fathom the look on her face. "I like boys. Not girls." 

She shifts under him and he moves until he's laying flat on the floor. He feels fingers on his cheek. 

"It's not... bad," she says slowly. 

Will waits for the but that never comes, and he peeks his eye open to see her sitting cross legged over him, looking down at him. Where he fears there would be judgment and disgust, he sees sincere understanding and some pride there, big brown eyes searching his. 

"It's not?" 

"No." 

He opens the other eye and sits up, connecting their hands. "I like boys," he says, again, feeling more liberated.

"Me too." 

Will bursts out laughing and notices that El is smiling at him. 

"Girls are nice, too," El says after a few moments of deliberation. "Pretty and soft. I like them, too." 

Will's eyebrows raise. "Mike -"

"I like Mike the most," she cuts him off. "But girls are good, too." 

Will nods, slightly shocked, but he understands. 

The pad of her thumb is rubbing over the back of his hand and it's soothing. He leans forward and kisses her on the cheek, just as Hopper clunks through the door to tell them dinner's ready.

They've been eating at the Byers' a lot, lately. 

"Remember, our secret," Will reminds her.

She nods and holds out her pinky. He connects his and they stay like that for a couple of seconds, Will feeling a deep sense of calm that just comes with being around her. "I won't tell anyone. You should, though." 

"I... should?" 

"We love you," she says like it's obvious. And maybe it is, but still...

Will says, "I'm not ready."

She gives him a reassuring smile. "That's okay." 

* * *

 

They whisper a lot, he notices. And he doesn't think he's jealous, but maybe... he is? 

Mike has no reason to be jealous. 

Will is his best friend and El is his girlfriend. So what if they'd grown close?

Except, she smiles differently at Will than she smiles at Mike, or any of the rest of the party. She has different smiles for Max and for Mike than she does for Lucas and Dustin, of course. But she just seems so much more at ease with Will.

The logical part of Mike's brain deduces that they've been through the same traumatic experiences, something he'll never understand. And that's what scares him. 

Will and El are sharing a sandwich in the cafeteria at school, something they do often since Joyce often makes El's lunch, Will telling her a story about something Jonathan had done. Mike tries not to stare from across the table, tries not to be jealous that El immediately went to sit beside Will on the other side instead of with him. 

He fails. 

All three of them are in Mike's basement and he'd just gone upstairs for a moment but when he gets back El's head is in Will's lap and he's playing with her curls. 

"Okay," he says, not loudly or unkindly. More in a confused way. "What's the deal?"

They look at him with puzzled expressions.

"You two... you're... close." 

Will snorts. "She's basically my sister," he says. "She's at my house almost every night with Hopper." 

Mike opens his mouth to say something but nothing comes out and he feels a bit ashamed. "I just..." 

"Feel left out," Will finishes, and Mike makes eye contact with El who looks sad and still confused. She then looks up at Will and gives a small, reassuring nod. "I... have something to tell you. And I don't want you to freak out or be mad." 

Mike steps closer and he's scared, he can't lie. He's scared about  _what_ could be freaking Will out so much that he hasn't told him yet. 

"I'm gay, Mike."

Mike's jaw sets. "That's it?" he says. "I mean, I'm happy you told me but you really just scared the shit out of me, man. I thought it was something fatal." 

El reaches out her hand to Mike and he takes it gratefully, sitting on the floor beside Will's legs. He kisses the side of her head. 

"Sorry," Will says with a chuckle, and Mike can tell he's still nervous. "I just... El and I... we get each other. And I told her first." 

"I'm not mad or anything," Mike says hurriedly. "But I'm happy you told me." 

El nuzzles the side of her head against Mike and a red blush spreads across his cheeks. 

"You're not grossed out?"

"No," Mike says. "I wouldn't ever be. You're still Will and you're still my best friend. I don't care that you're gay." 

Will nods and stays silent for a second.

"And neither will Dustin or Lucas," Mike supplies, and El nods in agreement. "Trust me. But don't do it 'till you're ready."

Will honestly looks like he's about to cry so Mike stands up and leans over to give him a hug, kissing him on the top of his head, and he sees El smiling at them from below. 

"Eggos?" 

Mike laughs and threads his fingers in with hers, pulling her up from her spot on Will. She pecks him on the mouth when she's flush against him. 

"Yeah, let's go get you some eggos." 


	8. get a job, stay away from her

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Was this... my fault?" 
> 
> They gape at her.
> 
> "No," they say together, both of them looking put-out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter is a bit darker and more angsty. some trigger warnings for past child abuse and some ptsd in relation, as well as sexual harassment and violence in current day. 
> 
> also. will, mike and el? have no touching boundaries. el is always cuddling with either of those two (sometimes at the same time), or max. just because. (and no, i'm not going anywhere near mike/el/will, but they're the closest, definitely, and make el feel calm).

_December, 1985_

She's gotten the hang of school, she thinks, as she sits in an empty classroom with her partner. His name is Marcus and he's a year older since he was held back, and he's nice to her, although Max says she gets a bad vibe from him. But she would have rather been partnered with Lucas. They work well together, though, and they're almost finished their assignment.

"You're pretty, Jane," the boy says. 

She feels a blush tint her cheeks. "Thanks," she says, a bit awkwardly. 

He moves in closer to her and their knees touch. As if she's been burned, she jerks backward. She only likes her family and the party touching her. Not strangers, not anymore. 

"Whoa, easy," he says, voice low, and it makes chills go down her spine. In the bad way. He moves forward again, grasping onto her wrist. "It's okay, I won't tell anyone."

"Won't tell anyone wh-" 

He leans forward and tries to kiss her, cutting her off, but she dodges at the past minute. He has a hard grip around her wrist and it burns when she tries to jerk away. 

_Don't use your powers,_ Hop's voice reminds her in her head. 

Before she quite knows what's even happening he has her pinned to her chair while he looms over him.

Her heart is racing and pumping wildly against her chest and she feels like she's about to break from the inside out, fear gripping her intensely. 

She's reminded of Papa, for some reason, as she's being held down. She makes a noise, a loud grunt, and she feels a hand slide over her mouth. 

El starts to panic. Her breathing becomes erratic, her chest constricting and she can't breathe, and it's not because she doesn't know what to do. She feels powerless, something she hasn't felt in so long. 

_Not again._

So she bites down on his hand and he curses and stumbles backwards. She tastes blood in her mouth and she tries not to throw up. 

"You little -" 

He grabs her arm hard enough to make her cry out and twists until she's standing and he holds her against the table, their pencils and supplies scattering everywhere. 

So she does what she thinks is best, what she was told by Hopper to do, and that was scream. She tries to hold a grip on her powers so that he doesn't get flung backwards but she does use the advantage to bring her boot up and kick him in between the legs.

He howls and lunges for her again and he strikes her at the mouth and she feels her lip split, and she can't help it, she kicks and scratches and punches and screams until he's off of her and running for the door. 

Her lip is stinging and she wipes at it, her fingers coming back bloody and her lip pulsing underneath. She takes a few shuddering breaths before she makes her way through the hallway, ignoring the looks she gets. 

She goes to the only adult in this school she can trust. Mr. Clarke. She tracks him down and as soon as he sees her he starts worrying.

"Jane -" 

"Can you call my dad, please?" He just stares at her for a moment. "Please."

So he does just that, and she doesn't hear what he says to Hop, but whatever it was had him there in such a short time. She's wrapped in her dads strong arms before she knows it, being brought to his cruiser.

He doesn't say anything until they get to the Byers residence (they stay here most nights now), just holds her hand tightly in one of his. 

* * *

 

She's laying on her makeshift bed, which is just a mattress beside Will's. She feels a hand on her side and she shifts away, whimpering, before looking up and seeing Mike and Will standing above her. 

"El -" Mike's voice cracks. 

She opens up her arms to them and they're down on the mattress with her, with her in between them, in no time. 

They all just lay there like that for a couple of moments, Mike's fingers tracing along her neck and Will's on her back. They soothe her, calm her down, until she finally speaks. She tells them the whole story, about what happened and how she felt and what it reminded her of. 

"Was this... my fault?" 

They gape at her.

"No," they say together, both of them looking put-out.

"Why would you think that, El?" Mike asks, eyebrows furrowing. 

"Why else would this happen?" 

Will looks near tears. "Some people are just bad people, El," he says, gently. "Like the boys who bully me, or Lucas... it's out of our control. This wasn't your fault." 

She nods and sighs when Mike presses a kiss to her shoulder. 

"Did you tell Hop about this?" Will asks her after a couple moments. 

"I think... he knows," she says, unsure. "But he doesn't know who." 

Mike's hands curl into fists and she can hear his knuckles crack.

"I'm going to kill him." 

"Mike," El whispers. "Don't. Please." 

He sighs, nods, and nuzzles against her. 

There's a knock on the door, and it's Joyce. She's holding an ice-pack. 

"Time to re-ice that, sweetie," she says gently. "We don't want it to swell."

El just nods and sits up, allows Joyce to place the cold pack on her bottom lip. Joyce's fingers thread through El's curls, gently. "Want to tell me and Hop what happened now, honey?" 

She nods again, looks back at Will and Mike. "It's okay, your dad is the chief of police," Mike jokes, and El feels a little softer. "It'll all be okay."

So El gets up with Joyce and tells her and Hop the story. All of it, about how powerless she felt. 

"I'm sorry, El," Hop says, his voice gruff. "In situations like that, where you're in danger, you need to protect yourself." 

She's squished in between his large body and Joyce's. 

"What's going to happen to him?"

"I'm going to slap some charges on him and if those don't stick, the very least I'm going to do is get the little bastard suspended." 

El licks at her bottom lip and winces, forgetting momentarily that she has a split lip. 

"I'm sorry, kid," Hop repeats.

"Don't," El says, voice strong. She rests her head on his chest, lets him press a kiss to her head. 

He lets her go back to Will's room and she crawls back down onto the mattress. She must have fallen asleep because when they're called for dinner, she's back laying in between Mike and Will.

They all walk out to the dining room, and she sees Jonathan and Steve there too, both boys kissing her on the forehead and being told by Hop in exact terms, "if I can't kill him, you can't either." 

It almost makes El laugh, but she really just wants to cry because in all honesty... she has never felt so protected. Before, she felt like all she had was her powers to protect her. Now she has a family, friends, who would gladly beat up a guy because he touched her inappropriately. 

Under the table, Joyce is holding her hand. She squeezes and El just squeezes back. 

 

 


End file.
